The Doctor And The Deadpool
by Big Chapters
Summary: Deadpool encounters the Doctor. Weasels point of view. A strange encounter as the Doctor lands the TARDIS in the wrong room. If only he got his coordinates right, this would never have happened! :O
1. Intro: A Big Blue Box

**Hello there. My name is Weasel, best friend to the merc with a mouth that we all know and love as Deadpool. This tale is one I never thought would happen to me or Wade. Especially since it's the greatest thing I believe to have ever happened in **_**my**_** life! Anyways…on with the story!**

**It was an average day for me and Wade, slouching around after another one of his crazy escapades, they usually left us pretty tired.**

**Wade was watching the television, stuffing his face with nachos while I tinkered away once again with his teleportation device. I could never seem to get the blasted thing to work properly. It never works when you need it, and just when things are going good for you, poof! It activates and before you know it we've been teleported to God knows where.**

"**Hey, Weasel! We're running low on nachos!" Wade yelled over his shoulder, his eyes still fixed to the television.**

"**And?" I replied.**

"**What do you mean 'and?'! Get me some more!"**

"**No!" I said sternly. "Get them yourself. Unless you want to end up like Agent-X, who has the metabolism of the Blob!"**

**I smirked to myself as Wade fidgeted on the couch before he finally got to his feet grumbling under his breath.**

**He pulled on his mask and started to walk towards the door.**

"**why are you wearing your mask, Wade?" I asked.**

"**Hmm, why am I wearing my mask?" Wade pondered sarcastically. "Well maybe because have the face of a FREAK!!!!"**

**Wade stopped in his tracks. "Did you use one of your weird gadgets on the door again, Weasel?"**

**I turned away from the table to see him feeling the air in front of him, just five feet from the door. "No, why?" I asked walking over to where he was standing.**

"**Strange." he replied.**

"**What is it Wade?"**

"**I do not know." he continued to feel the air in front of him. "I can feel it, but I cannot see it…"**

**A strange whooshing noise was heard, followed by the air where Wade was waving his arms about shimmering. Finally, a blue box appeared. A big blue box. It was as tall as the room. There was a door there too. Above the door, 'Police Box' was written on it.**

"**EEEP!" Wade gasped in fright, jumping back and landing on his backside.**

**The door of the Police Box opened and a man popped his head out first, before walking into the room.**

"**Hello there!" the man said, a big grin on his face. "My name's the Doctor!"**

**I nearly exploded with the excitement! **


	2. The Right When, Just The Wrong Where!

Hello, hi! Yeah it's me again, Weasel. Sorry about the little break there. We had a little accident there involving some demons and a toilet. But that's a story for another time, I'm here to tell the tale of how Deadpool encountered the Doctor. Now, where was I…oh right, funny story this (although come to think of it, nearly every adventure with Deadpool is a funny story).

The Doctor's Police Box, or TARDIS if you want to be completely correct, had just appeared in our apartment. In front of our door. Blocking Wade from getting out to get more nachos. Not a good idea, if anyone knows Wade like I do.

"Hello there." the Doctor said shaking Wade's hand firmly. "Mind telling me where I am?"

This is where I come in, because as soon as he said that he was the Doctor, I was all over him like a dog after meat.

"Hihihi! Omgomgomg!" I squealed like a school girl. "You're the Doctor! And you're in our apartment! In America! In New-York! Even though you're British!"

"Well…I wouldn't say I'm British, even though I spend most of my time in Britain. In fact I'm actually a Time-Lord. The last of my kind." he said calmly. "I wouldn't happen to be in apartment 2010bc?"

"No!" Wade grunted, annoyed that he had a big blue box blocking the exit to his own apartment. "This is 2010ad. 2010bc is across the hall."

"Ah, I see." the Doctor said nodding his head. "Thanks for that. I'll be off then." he popped back into his TARDIS and rummaged around inside before it started to beep and whir.

"Hey!" Deadpool shouted grabbing the handle of the TARDIS' door and banging it with his fist. "I wasn't finished with you!"

The TARDIS beeped and whirred some more before finally disappearing, Wade along with it.

"WHAT!?!?!? Wade??? I was the one supposed to go on the adventure with him, not yoouuu!"

Annoyed at this stage, I grabbed whatever I needed ran out of the apartment and went straight into apartment 2010bc across the hall.

By this time the TARDIS had reappeared, Deadpool along with it, his fist still banging on the police box.

"Would you ever give it over!" the Doctor growled at him, coming out of the TARDIS. "Turns out I was in the right when, just the wrong where! Hah! That's never happened before!" he laughed inspecting the room. "Now, who did you say you were?"


	3. I Like Big Guns!

Doctor Who, Deadpool

Part 3:

"I Like Big Guns!"

Deadpool. A human mutated thanks to awfulness of Weapon X and their efforts to cure Deadpool's cancer by giving him a healing factor. Unfortunately for him, it left him not only physically scarred, but mentally too.

"Deadpool!" the Doctor yelled, banging his fists on the door of the TARDIS. "Come out now before you do something stupid!"

It had been half an hour now since the Doctor had asked Wade his name. that's how they got talking and how Wade found out how the TARDIS can travel through space and time. Not something that you want to tell the likes of Deadpool.

"You!" the Doctor said, turning around and pointing at me. "Weasel? Yes! Tell him to get out of there! The consequences of what we'd have to put up with if he even did one thing wrong are unimaginable!"

"Oh, please!" I replied. "This is Wade we're talking about here! He just about knows how to use a microwave, let alone that yoke!" I said referring to the TARDIS.

The Doctor ruffled his hair and grumbled something under his breath. "I can't get in! How did he do that? My Sonic Screwdriver won't even open it!"

"Like I said: It's Wade we're talk--"

My sentence was cut short as the TARDIS disappeared before our very eyes. I gasped in shock, surprised he got it working.

"Don't worry. He only put it into stealth mode. It's still there." the Doctor said as he slumped into a corner, his hands holding his head up.

I walked around the vacant room, not sure what exactly to be doing in a situation like this. On the far side of the room, there was a door on either of the wall. I walked over to the door on the left and checked to see if it was unlocked. I opened the door slowly and peeped my head in to have a look. The room was pitch black with no windows or lights in it. And then I heard it. A deep grumbling noise. More like a growl.

"Uh…Doctor?" I slowly backed away from the room, closing the door behind me. "W-why exactly are you here?" my voice was nervous now.

"There was a spike in the fluctuation of the space and time Rift. It was coming from this apartment."

I laughed nervously. "Funny you should say that."

"What?" the Doctor stood up. "Why?"

I said nothing, instead I just pointed at the door. The Doctor walked over to the door and felt it with his hands. He then took out his sonic screwdriver thingy and pointed it at the door, as it flashed a blue colour.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's the reason I came here. But right now, it can wait until your friend over there gets out of my TARDIS!" I could tell from the tone of his voice that the Doctor was being serious. He wasn't impressed with Wade's behaviour.

The door of the TARDIS opened and Wade stepped out, a giant gun of some description in his arms.

"What's this thing do?" he asked. "because I like big guns!"

_Continued…_


	4. What The FUDGE Is THAT?

**Doctor Who, Deadpool**

**Part 4:**

"**What The **_**FUDGE**_ Is _That_!?!?"

"What did you do this time, Wade?" I asked, lowering my head in shame.

"Me? Nothing, I swear! I only messed about in there for a bit before I found this HUGE gun! What's it called, Doc?"

"It's called the _'This Gun Must Be Kept Away From Deadpool At All Times!'_ gun!" the Doctor said, getting very frustrated.

"Pooh!" Wade moaned. "You're no fun!"

A vicious growl came from the closet behind us. All three of our heads turned in that direction, wary of what was going to happen next. Then, the unexpected happened. Right before our very eyes, the door exploded, shattering into a million wood splinters.

"I take it that was bad…" Wade gawped, just as shock as the Doctor and I were.

"Give me that, quick!" the Doctor barked, grabbing the huge gun from Wade (**Authors Note:** The gun is the one that Rose uses to fight off the Daleks in the series with either Martha or Donna, I'm not too sure). He ran straight for the TARDIS, and chucked through its door, not caring where it landed. Inside, the Doctor rummaged about and emerged just in time as whatever was in the closet began to emerge.

"Uh-Oh!" I thought to myself and then said put loud, "This can't be good!"

The tall beast emerged, standing on all fours, huge pointy spikes running along its spine, the sun that was coming through the window gleaming off its shiny metallic skin. Deadpool, being his usual self then shouted atop his voice:

"WHAT THE _**FUDGE**_ IS _THAT_!?!?!"

Continued…


	5. The End of The Beginning: Not A Clue!

**Doctor Who, Deadpool**

**Part 5:**

**The End of the Beginning of Something far Worse Than You Could Ever Imagine!**

I nearly wet my pants at the size of the monster that had just emerged from the vacant apartment's closet. Heh, the apartment wasn't so vacant now!

"Like I just said, What _is_ that thing?!?!?" Deadpool asked.

The Doctor gawped at it for a few seconds more before scratching his head. "I have not the foggiest!!!!"

The giant beast seemed to be frozen on the spot. It then moves its head side to side before it sniffed the air.

"Um…what's it doing?" I asked.

Nobody answered me.

It sniffed the air some more and held it's head up high, walking over to where Deadpool was standing.

"Uh…hi?" Wade said to the beast, speechless for once in his life. "I don't think we've met. I'm Barbie, that's Ken, and over there with the big round spectacles is our buddy Weasel. He's real good at fixing stuffs!" I take it back. "Who might you be?"

The beast let a giant roar at him, a glob of saliva dropping out of its mouth and onto Wade's head.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you 'Rawr', but we best be off now!" Wade said moving quicker than I'd ever seen him move any other time. Last time he moved even close to this speed was when I was about to eat one of his nachos. Bad idea.

He ran straight for the TARDIS, grabbing the Doctor by the wrist on his way and dragged him in. not wanting to be left behind with 'Rawr', I also made a run for it, following them into the blue Public Police Box and slamming the door shut behind me.

When I was safely inside, I looked to see the Doctor and Wade were already pulling levers and pressing buttons.

"So…if we don't know anything about Rawr out there, where we heading, and why?" I asked, not sure whether now was a good time to celebrate my first space/time transportation with the Doctor in his TARDIS.

"No clue!" both the Doctor and Wade said at the exact same time.

"Anywhere is better than with Sir Droolalot there!" Deadpool said after getting a smack on the head from the Doctor for pressing all the wrong buttons and pulling all the levers.

"Stop!" he yelled at Wade. "You'll over-load the system if you keep it up! Then we'll be stuck here!"

The TARDIS shook violently as the beast outside collided with it, knocking everyone off their feet.

"Just…one…more…button…" the Doctor gasped, the air knocked out of him. He quickly took out his Sonic Screwdriver and used it to activate the final command, unable to reach the lever.

After a few beeps and whirs from the engine of the TARDIS we were off, away from Rawr, away from New-York, but hopefully not away from Earth. You never realise how much you miss your own home planet after you've left it once or twice.

"Where we headed, Doc?" Wade asked.

"Like I said before, Deadpool: I have not the foggiest!!!"

_**End.**_

**But fear not, this tale shall be followed by a few more. **

Starring: **the Doctor, Deadpool, Weasel and a few other guest stars that you may or may not know.**

**The Whoniverse and The Marvel Universe are joined by Image and DC Earth 1. (sorry to those who don't agree with this ****L )**


End file.
